Beating the Google Index

I'm still waiting for Google to index this site, at least in their blog search. I believe my words are truthful and powerful enough to spread by word of mouth and from my readers. I did manage to get Chicago Withdrawal #1 on Google if you simply type in "Chicago Withdrawal" despite their algorithms and neglect of their Blogger clients like me. I even consider moving this to Wordpress.com. All of this is just motivating me to write more bold and comprehensive articles about Chicago. Thank you for reading.
Here is The Talking Heads preforming "Cities" live.

"I'm checking em' out."

Chicago Myth #2: Public Transportation

"You can throw your car away and live in Chicago and live happily ever after."-- Not the case. Seeing that I did this throughout my high school and lived in the city without a car for the last year, I know, believe me. I would like to believe that for a city the size of Chicago this was case. The fact is Chicago transportation, in short, does not move.


Let's say you want to take the train, it moves slow. Let's say you want to drive, you are stuck in traffic. Let's say you want to take the bus, you are again stuck in traffic. The Metra system is decent but like the CTA, it is really meant to get you downtown and thats it. The CTA is stuck in the 1920s, it moves ridiculously slow, goes to downtown and back to you neighborhood. If you want to get to another neighborhood you have to transfer somewhere then transfer somewhere else. Do you want to transfer train lines? Too bad, you have to go all the way downtown wait and then transfer again to go all the way back out to the neighborhoods. If you live in the suburbs, and don't live off a Metra stop, its like having to drive out to the cornfields everyday, while stuck in traffic.



Logic would tell you that people would stop expanding or demand better public transportation. But this is Chicago and everyone is an idiot. Everyone is happy commuting 45 minutes or more everyday. This is the new Chicago culture: being stuck in traffic. I'll tell you right now, if you build your house way out in the suburbs without a Metra line and work in the city: you are probably a miserable person or an idiot.


On top of this the problem isn't going to go away. The Federal Government doesn't care about Chicago. You aren't going to get any help from Senator Obama; he is busy trying to get in the White House. Not from Durbin he is an idiot. From Governor Blagoevich? Not a chance. He worked under someone I know, under, when he was just getting his law degree. The person called him, and I quote, "A dildo."


Every month the CTA spends millions on a PR campaign to get its rates raised to tells its riders of "dooms day" for the CTA. And Chicago wants to be on the international scene with NY or London?


The fact is this is America. And Americans love their GD cars. Chicago will never be "European." Chicago will never be a pleasant place to live--it will always be a pain in the ass full of miserable people and weather.

Tribal Chicago

I get comments from outsiders that live in Chicago that Chicago is "racist and segregated." While I agree to some level of this, I think that this issue is too easily passed off with these terms. I want to ask a little bit more of a deeper question: "Why is Chicago this way?" Someone I know, whose Mother is from Texas, told me that Chicago is even more segregated than the South. This makes little sense at first because the South, historically, has been associated with slavery.

The questions that must be asked is: "Who is racist to whom?" and "Who is segregated and who isn't?" The answer, although changing for the better, is everyone. Whites want to live with whites. Blacks want to live with blacks. Hispanics want to live with Hispanics. Asians want to live with Asians. Keep in mind, I'm generalizing: My point is that similar races want to live with similar races and cultures.


Chicago is an ethnic city. Many people are either straight off the boat or only a few generations isolated from their parents' country. They all have racial terms for each other: Mick, Deigo, Spic, pole lock, one for Puerto Ricans a Mexican told me, shovel head, dot head, wanker, niggers, kiks etc... You may be more likely in Chicago, than other places, to hear these terms thrown around like nothing. The reason for this is because these cultures live in such a close proximity, land area wise, that it was probably ingrained in them from birth. Keep in mind these terms are not always said maliciously and I have honestly seen people be called these names and laugh about it. Although this is diminishing, for the better, it still may shock outsiders. Some races and cultures are more compatible than others. For example: Mexicans, Irish, Italians are all, for the most part, Roman Catholics so you will see a more fluent, although not always, merging of these cultures.


So unlike the South, Chicago has many races, cultures and religions in the same place at the same time. This may appear to magnify the racial issues in Chicago, but I believe this still doesn't fully explain Chicago's racism. There just seems to be an overwhelming population of scumbags, across the board, which prevents Chicago from doing anything great to put it on the map with more important cities its size. Perhaps, this is the problem of the schools, but the schools are only a reflection of culture. I look to nature for the answer.


Besides, the summer which I enjoyed, Chicago is a cold, dark cesspool. People need to band together, at least historically, to survive. People will naturally bind with people like them and fight people that don't for resources. This isn't California or the South where people have mild winters; people are on edge for survival. Chicago is a Tribal city in battle for resources.

Uniquely Illinois #2: Drew Peterson

If all the forces of the universe combined into my head at once, I still could not think of a "Chicagoland" character as dynamic as Drew Peterson. I'm going back to an e-mail here, one minute, to get my quote of what I said about silly dilly Drew. "I think Drew Peterson reflects the typical idiot Chicago area person: he can't speak well, he is a scumbag and probably thinks he got away with murder." I'm not mocking people with accents from Chicago, but I also realize it isn't the standard dialect for the rest of the country. I occasionally say an "A" vowel sound, like I'm opening my mouth for the doctor. Take Drew Peterson's accent, creepy smile, demeanor, profession and we have the mixing power for a "Uniquely Illinois" character. Every now and then a character from Chicago comes out the woodwork and into the national spotlight; this is the only way people from the rest of the country can realize these people exist. To recap: Peterson's wife, who is approximately my age, disappeared from the 50 year olds shaky marriage leaving her children behind for "another man," as silly dilly Drew claims. As it turns out, Drew's previous and third wife died from "unknown causes" in the bathroom--It was later discovered that she was murdered. The best part is that he is a cop. If you are interested in being Drew's 5th wife, click here All men are innocent till proven guilty, but not all men are Drew Peterson until proven guilty.

Uniquely Illinois #1: Cubs Vs. White Sox

I was going to call my "Uniquely Illinois" posts "Chicago Idiots" or "Illinois Idiots," although I think this would be too narrow of a range for what I am trying to express. I am a baseball fan. I like almost all professional baseball teams and their players. In professional baseball, players and officials are moved around so often, that it seems the best criteria to judge a team is by the people that don't change that often: their fans. I judge baseball teams by the character of their fans. When I am invariably asked, "Cubs or White Sox?" the answer is more complex for me.


Cubs fans have grown progressively ridiculous over the past few decades. I site one of my recent favorite blogs, "The Stuff White People Like," as one of the most accurate portrayals of Cubs fans and their Cathedral: Wrigley Field. While I always enjoy baseball and if I am asked to go to a Cubs game, I will say yes. I find it hard to become so enthralled with a franchise that has a less than stellar record. I was at a party in Ohio this weekend where I saw a friend of mine who is moving to Chicago. All of a sudden, he had on a flat top Cubs hat. A few drinks in him and he was talking smack to a student with a NY Mets hat on. This is the mentality of a new Cubs fan: wear the hat and immediately pretend you watch every WGN game. I warned my friend of the dangers of Chicago and drinking the "Rah Rah Chicago kool-aid," but it seems he is already on his way to becoming a reason I don't like Cubs fans and, more broadly, Chicago.



I believe, for the most part, White Sox fans understand my opinion of the Cubs fans, but they too have drank the "Rah Rah Chicago kool-aid." While the South side team personally and generally hates the Cubs fans and team, they still think that the South side team is the greatest thing in the world. The White Sox fans site the 2005 World Series Championship as evidence of this. I was in Ohio at this time, celebrating by myself because no one gave a damn in Ohio. While watching on T.V., a White Sox fan told the World that this champioship is bigger than the Bears winning the 85' SuperBowl and the entire 90s' Chicago Bulls. No one cared in Ohio and probably the rest of the nation. No one cares about Chicago teams, outside of Chicagoans who think it is the center of the universe and Midwesterners who have somehow gotten a hold of the "Rah Rah Chicago kool aid."



So when I am asked which team I prefer, I say the Cincinnati Reds. The Reds are the oldest team in professional baseball and have a loyal fan base. No one is a Reds fan because they just recently moved to Cincinnati. I am a Reds fan because I simply can not stand fans that think their city is the center of the universe; Cincinnati fans at least realize Cincinnati is not the center of the universe, nor will it ever be.

Chicago Myth #1: Friendliness

This will be the first in a series of posts called "Chicago myths." Chicago historically has been known as a friendly mid-western city. A.J. Liebling wrote of this is his 1950's area critique of Chicago entitled, The Second City. Sadly, I don't even find this to be the case anymore.


One night, while eating tacos late after work, an attractive college girl about my age sat down next to me at the restaurant bar. The girl began talking to me about how she needed to get out of her apartment immediately or she would "go crazy." I immediately knew she wasn't from Chicago and where she was from. I said, "you aren't from here are you." She looked perplexed, "How could he know I wasn't from here?"--I'll tell you exactly why--



1.) An attractive Chicago college age girl or even older would rarely, if ever, bother talking to someone she didn't know, especially randomly. In fact, most Chicagoans including people from the suburbs would rarely, if ever, bother talking to a random person.



2.) The girl abruptly sat down next to me and started talking to me. I can't think of any other instance where this has happened in Chicago. If someone knows where the hell this happens regularly in the country, let me know. I have heard myths this happens in the South and the West.



3.) As I have said, the only way someone can put up with Chicago is because they don't know how bad it is. A true Chicagoan wouldn't usually publicly complain about sitting in their apartment or they would "go crazy." A true Chicagoan is crazy.



I told the girl that I thought she was from out West, specifically California; She told me to keep guessing. The girl was a Mormon from Salt Lake City, Utah; she worked as a flight attendant. When I told her I knew she wasn't from Chicago because of how friendly she was, among other things, she replied by saying, "I have a real problem with people around here." I wish I could have replied, "No shit, I could write a book about it, literally. Instead, I write a blog about it." This was in late 07', before I was back in college, and before I had the time to formally analyze Chicago. She said something along the lines of the people being uptight and stuffy. I have traditionally heard those terms applied to Eastern cities. I remember someone, who went to college in NY, told me to not go out there because the people were miserable and had a bleak outlook on life; perhaps, this is the case, but I really don't find people from Chicago being particularly friendly or happy. The girl got her take out Mexican food and left. I now understand why someone would raise their kids in the Mormon Church.

"Sandra Does Not Do Blogs"

Yesterday, I received a reply back from Sandra Cisneros' agent. I wanted to see if I could get the Chicago author and former resident to write a contributing article on why she doesn't live in Chicago anymore. I also wanted the successful former resident to comment on my opinions. Cisneros' upbringing in the Hispanic community would give me a better picture of their outlook on life there; Cisneros was raised in Chicago and wrote the novel The House on Mango Street. Cisneros no longer lives in Chicago. This seems to be the pattern for successful Chicagoans: they leave. Stuart Dybek, who is best known for his book of short stories, entitled The Coast of Chicago, also left Chicago. Dybek's short stories are, for the most part, a happy reflection of life in Chicago. Dybek's Chicago is certainly not my generations' Chicago; if it were, Dybek would probably still live there. The anonymous commentator "r" on my blog said that his friend from Bridgeport, in his early thirties, doesn't even recognize the city and people any more. I'm in my early twenties and I can see changes from even a few years ago. My Grandfather said he doesn't even recognize the city, the people or the buildings. The city is always changing. Cisneros' agent quickly wrote back to me saying that "Sandra does not do blogs." I'm not surprised at the discrimination I am faced with my blog--All it is is online commentary. If I had a job at the Chicago Sun -Times or the Chicago Tribune, I might receive some respect. Those writers may be out of a job shortly, anyway. Probably because they are not going to give you the truth about Chicago and traditional newspapers are almost dead. If you want to read some "Rah Rah" Chicago editorial, then continue reading those newspapers. If you want a unique and critical perspective on Chicago, then read my postings. I'm keeping the Adsense Ads on, by the way, to humor myself at all of the ironic ads it displays. I'm going to try to contact Dybek now and get to the bottom of why he left.

1920 Chicago Still Exists

A few days ago, I wrote my rant about the Chicago shootings and how I was "not surprised." When people ask me what it is like being from the Chicago area, I don't simply say, "it sucks"-- that would be too easy on Chicago. I say, "it is stuck in the 1920's era." My Father talks about how his Grandmother, my Great Grandmother, met Al Capone in their Italian community. Apparently, she said he was a "nice man." My father replied, "no Grandma." This seems to be the average Chicago politician: the "nice man." Chicago's policies are influenced and made by these degenerates. If you need proof, please click on the title of my post and read why Chicago is one of the few places where you can't own a gun legally. I'm not even "Mr. Rah Rah firearms" either; I know I could be killed in certain areas at any given time. I would hope I could have something to balance the equation. Chicago is approximately half the size of NY City and has twice the murder rate--why?--because of gang violence. Read Mike Royko's book, called Boss, for more information on how Chicago functions. Another thing that is stuck in the early 20th century: the CTA-- more on that in a future post.

Chicago: On a Positive Note

I mentioned last night in my post that I didn't want this blog to be a downer and negative all the time. I care about Chicago and its people, at least the ones who want to better them self--that is why I write this blog. I don't really want to be associated with Chicago in a lot of ways though, which is why when people ask me where I'm from I say Illinois.
I am going to look on the positive side of Chicago for this post and then refute it. The pizza is very good as many already know (depending on where you get it from). Many people in the suburbs are wealthy and still have their heads on their shoulders. There are some good museums: Science and Industry, the Field Museum and the Art Institute of Chicago for starters. Some bars are interesting: my favorite is probably the Old Town Ale House. There is the beginning ground for improv theater across the street, The Second City as well as other improv theaters. There are some great restaurants downtown and in the suburbs, like Oak Brook Shopping Center. There are some great skyscrapers to look up at. Chicago, to the tourist, may look like a great place to live. I think visiting it is as far as I would go these days, with the exception of moving back to my old suburb to be close to family (which I would be extremely nervous to do). Chicago has the look of a world class city, but don't be fooled. Visiting there is one thing, but only when living there does Chicago begin to truly show its colors everyday.
First off, if you came to Chicago for the party you are a few decades late. Almost all of the bars close at 2 a.m. so don't be trying to pull an Ibiza and partying till 5 in the morning publicly, you will probably be arrested. Which brings me to my next point, there are cameras everywhere so Father Daley can watch over his children. Thirdly, while most people in Chicago like to throw back beer, holding an intelligent conversation or even a worthwhile one is hard to find: there are so many idiots there that the good ones seem few and far between. Chicago is trying to invent itself as the "fun place to be" but it is over regulated fun. Besides, it is so cold most of the year that being outside sucks so you sit in your room all depressed. You can't even own a gun there when it has the highest crime rate in the country. Ironically, many people move there to look for a more interesting city life, while it is big I think I can get just about everything from a smaller mid-western city, including a 2 a.m. bar closing time. I've found not only am I depressed when I go home, I am overcharged for it too.

"Chicagoans have major self esteem (and mental) issues"

My blog has been up for less then a week and I'm not even sure if it has arrived in any search engines or even blog searches yet. I got my first comment; thank you anonymous. I don't want this blog to be a downer and there are many good people in Chicago who hold the crumbling city together; however, I have found that there is pervasive self esteem and mental problems that plague the city as anonymous said (you can read the whole comment if you click the title). When I was working in the heath care field in Chicago, I saw it everyday. The reason I chose to bring mental illness up is because one of my friends recently had to be hospitalized because of it. When I told him, via e-mail, that he needed to get away from Chicago and move to a more pleasant area of the country his reply demonstrates uniquely Chicago arrogance: "Ya, So what? Don't be a tourist, rep your hood and it's all good. I got taken to a mental hospital by fat people in a XXXXXX ambulence, dude straped me in but I still knew I was smater then him. I love this city, what's right I do all night, what's wrong don't bother me for very long. I learned how to rap in the hospital! Stop thinking of things as weird and sketchy just let it go and for the love of god free your mind, politics will always be bullshit. Jobs kill. None of it concerns me anymore
P.S. Cincinati had a race war like two years ago, Chicago is above that" Ironically, the company I worked for transported him. I no longer talk to this friend; I can't help him anymore. He thinks he is a rapper and he is still proud to be a Chicagoan! The e-mail speaks for itself; I don't even need to begin to analyze it for you.

Chicago Shooting Wave: CNN News

Over the weekend I noticed WGN news, which reports local Chicago news throughout the country, had a story on a deadly weekend in Chicago; this comes as little surprise to me. The ironic thing is that the policy makers in Cook County are responsible for all of it.
When I lived in Logan Square on the NW side, there were gangbangers all over the blocks around there just walking around. I know, for a fact, that they had guns on them. Chicago's unconstitutional gun control laws make it illegal to own and carry a gun; furthermore, their push in the State Capital of Illinois makes the rest of the state strict on carrying weapons. Basically all of the gangsters can have guns and you can't because you follow the rules! I try to be as formal as I can with my blog, but what a bunch of mobster backstabbers those policy makers are! I want them to go down to the neighborhoods of the South side of Chicago, live their with their families and see what happens. This is the mentality of Cook County, Illinois: punish law abiding citizens and exploit them through taxes. This is why I can never live in that County again. This is why my father said, "I will never live there again" about Chicago as well as "No Cook County" when my mother asked him if they should move. I try to not get personally upset about this, but imagine your family getting rape and pillaged by all the gangs in that city. That county and city has no future.

Chicago Withdrawal Clarification

As critical as I am of Chicago, I still believe I won't fit in anywhere else. I'm from a large Chicago Catholic family--isn't exactly how everyone was raised. I remember being in a bar once with my brother in Chicago and he ran into someone he knew that went to his high school. The guy, Carl I believe his name was, was 27, a college dropout and had been on Jeopardy recently so he wasn't an idiot; he was working on his undergraduate. He said something that I will never forget: "I learned being away from Chicago that not everyone is Catholic." Of course he knew not everyone was Catholic, but that just goes to show how an overwhelmingly number of Chicagoans identify themselves with the religion. Growing up I'd never thought I would live anywhere else: then I realized other parts of the country are much happier in general, warmer, laid back, sunnier, greener. When talking about Chicago, the grass literally is greener in Cincinnati; there are far more trees and less McDonald's gray parking lots everywhere. The best part is no one tells me about how great Cincinnati is like they do about Chicago. So Chicago Withdrawal isn't homesickness, its the feeling I get when I know I won't fit in anywhere else, something Chicago takes from everyone, which is why Chicagoans have to convince themselves they are the best, an awakening would be very painful for them.

My Story: Part 3

Basically, I'm trying to cut to the chase with my own personal upbringing in Chicagoland. Although I could write a whole blog on that, I want the reader to know that I have lived there for 20 years and I know a lot about the area. This will be the final "My Story" post. Basically, I had a very lucky upbringing, good parents in a good suburb, no complaints about that. I spent a good time between the ages of 14-18 commuting to the city and it has had a deep effect on me; however, I didn't realize how big of a joke the place is until I actually lived there for a year when I took a break from college for almost 2 years and worked driving an ambulance for that time in the city and suburbs. I know know exactly what my Father meant when he said, "I'll never live there again;" He is not the first person to say that.

My Story: Part 2

I'm starting this blog mainly for my own self satisfaction and to vent frustrations publicly at Chicagoland and even more at Cook County and especially the City of Chicago. My roomates and even my family mention my "negative" attitude toward Chicago, maybe its because they still don't understand the misery of the damn place. That is my main goal of this blog, If I can reach even one person who reads this and finds truth in what I'm writing, then my job is done. I decided to describe my experiences combined with my knowledge of the area to give a unique view of the area. I was born in raised in a nearby western suburb, as I am mentioned in the previous post. My Father's side lived on the West side of the city for generations. My Mother's side in a nearby former farm town which is now part of Chicagoland sprawl, which is itself another topic for a post.
If anyone has a right to complain about Chicago, its my Father, Grandfather and their family members. They were raised in that city; a large, Roman Catholic family that still resides in the Chicagoland area. My Father mentions little of Chicago, probably because he knows what a miserable place it is. He has mentioned that he would "never live there again," referring to the city. My Father is no idiot: he left that place for a reason. I would argue that the suburbs aren't far enough away, especially the Cook County ones.
My Grandfather is a true 20th century pioneer of Chicago; born and raised in the twenties and the Depression, he sits in nursing home off of North Avenue in the suburbs. He raised more than 10 kids, clinging to the old Roman Catholic Chicagoan way of life. His wife, my Grandmother, has been dead since 1999. I go to breakfast with my Grandpa when I go back home and his conversations are always a little morbid and increasingly depressing: the role of women, getting old, when there was horse drawn carriages in Chicago. I want to also mention that I went to the same Catholic high school he went to in Chicago. I should also note that I was raised Roman Catholic and I don't think Chicago can be described adequately without bringing up the Catholic Church.

My Story: Part 1

I was raised in a nearby suburb of Chicago and I really did not get out of the region until I was 14. I went overseas with my Dad: the joke was I had been to Chicago, Milwaukee and Paris. I went to high school in the City of Chicago for four years, commuting by train and car. I basically have friends and family in the city and suburbs and I didn't live anywhere else until I left for college. For many reasons, I had to come back for almost two years; I worked and lived in the city and suburbs until this last January. My goal of this blog is to explain what I realized about Chicagoland from growing up there, until recently returning to school. I will describe everything from the cultures of Chicagoland to the food.
It is sunny out right now in Cincinnati; I want to be outside. I feel so strongly about what I am going to write about, that I would waste a beautiful day just to get the first post going. I want this blog to be compared to A.J. Liebling's critique of Chicago The Second City but without the pretension that the East is better: I simply want to describe Chicagoland as someone who grew up there and saw the devastation of mind and body it can fuel. I call this blog "Chicago Withdrawal" because that is exactly what leaving Chicago causes when you have lived there and especially if you grew up there: it makes you sick. I'm not talking about being home sick, I'm talking about realizing how tragic Chicago is. I will work hard to explain why I feel this way.